A group called “LMFAO” performed the grand finale in last night’s American Music Awards.

How do I know this?  I watched it.

Why would I watch a three-hour long awards show featuring the brand of pop music embodied by former American Idol contestants, trendy hip hop wannabe’s, more techno-garble than a IBM power plant, and, basically, everything prepubescent?  Simple.  Because my son loves it.  Somehow – unbeknownst to me – an unwelcome alien entity must have invaded my son’s room (or something) and taught him the lyrics of all of these headache inducing songs that previously existed in an alternate reality from mine.

His favorite group is the aforementioned LMFAO.  I checked out their cd at Barnes & Noble.  Two guys with their

LMFAO - Cool Dudes

faces pressed against a girl’s bare midriff.  It was the only cd I found with “Parental Warning – Explicit Lyrics” stamped on the cover.  They feature songs called “Party Anthem” and “Too Sexy For You”.  Monday evening I became aware that my son knows all the lyrics.

At dinner last night he began singing a phrase, “I have passion in my pants”.  Here’s the conversation that followed:

“Palmer, what are you saying?”
“I’ve got passion in my pants.” (unabashedly)
“Why are you saying that?”
“It’s a song I like.”
“I really don’t want you going around saying that…it’s inappropiate.”
“Why?  What does it mean?”
“I don’t know.  Eat your spinach.”

I’m processing how to navigate (and feel) about this latest development of…growing up.

The thing is – I wanted so much more for my boy.  When he was a baby in the crib, I put him to sleep to Johnny Cash and The Cowboy Junkies.  I made a point of raising him on Buddy Holly and Wilco.  I remember him finding one of my Van Halen cd’s when he was four years old (Van Halen I for those who care) and performing a dance number for his mother and I to the entire cd.  Van Halen wasn’t where I wanted him to end up…but it was an acceptable starting point for a 4-year-old.  I was parenting well…

What happened?

Me and Palmer were driving the other day and I decided to listen to his favorite radio station with him (don’t ask what station – it’s mentally blocked out).  I tried to find common ground.

“Palmer, this all sounds like music made for dancing.  It has a strong dance beat – meant to be played at dance clubs.”
“Yeah.”
“You know – when I was your age a lot of popular groups made similar music.  It wasn’t as techno because…well…they didn’t have the technology.  But it was still made with a similar beat and made to be played at dance clubs.  They called it disco.”
“I’ve heard of that.”

Then I remembered – I remembered just how hard it is at his age not to like what everyone else likes.  I remembered that I owned Andy Gibb and the Bee Gee’s crap when I was close to my boy’s age.  One of my 45′s was A Taste of Honey’s Boogie Oogie Oogie.  And it wasn’t musical doom.  It just takes a while to discover yourself…to live into who you will eventually become.  No need to panic.

The conversation I started during that ride was a conversation about not needing to like what everyone else likes.  Feeling free to choose what’s good over what is popular.  I said, “You can listen to whatever you want to and I’m cool with that.  All I want for you is to listen to what you like and not just follow the crowd.”

He nodded politely and looked out the window.

I have more hope for my daughter.  Last year she wrote in class that her favorite movie was “All Elvis Movies” and she recently asked if I could paint a mural of the Beatles on her bedroom wall.  Daddy’s Little Girl.

 

Disengenuious Perhaps?

No doubt this is an entertaining and even fun movie to watch.  I couldn’t help smelling conspiracy, however.  Is it possible that between the hard cracking business dealings of Billy Bean and his self promotional movie, there lurks something that is…well, false?  Consider:

• Is is completely genuine for Johnny Damon to be heralded as the Oakland Athletics franchise player who broke their hearts because he wasn’t affordable?  (There is a true story here but it isn’t located in Oakland California).
• Is it completely genuine to suggest that the Oakland A’s won so many games during the 02 season with a team full of “Undervalued” players?  (I seem to remember the likes of Jermaine Dye and Miguel Tejada on that team…funny they were never mentioned).
• Is is completely genuine for Billy Bean to take credit for the Boston Red Sox’s curse breaking World Series Win when that team was led by players such as the aforementioned high-priced Johnny Damon? (One among many to comprise one of the highest payrolls in MLB).

Stop the Football!!!

Uuhhgg!  I can’t take the ceaseless football talk anymore.  As if there’s not enough football once the season starts.

Football – it’s everywhere and I am sick of it already.  Honestly – I was soooo looking forward to a break from the whole thing this fall.  Will someone please lock them out again?

The funny thing is I somewhat enjoy the sport.  I just feel so overly saturated by football – like listening to a song you like over and over to the point you grow to hate the song.

I realize the reason for this reaction is largely a byproduct of where I live.  It’s probably not a coincidence that my two favorite sports are baseball and basketball – two sports that I, by contrast, can’t seem to get enough of.

Baseball coverage in KC is limited.  We have a major league team, but a team that is perennially in last place.  Thus the Royals chatter tends to dry up after a couple of months.  Local college teams, of course, have baseball.  But college baseball is hardly a phenomenon that captures the popular imagination and is, therefore, rarely addressed on local or national media.

KC has no professional basketball team.  There is a sweet sweet season where college basketball is on the radar, but that comes and goes relatively quickly and, honestly, doesn’t seem to garner much media hype until March Madness which, again, comes and goes pretty quickly.

Football though.  It’s everywhere.  Chiefs Chiefs Chiefs.  It’s all I hear about.  Who cares that they’re a middle of the road/mediocre team and have been my entire life?  In this city – they’re perennial contenders.  And then there’s the whole college football thing.  We are surrounded by three Big 12 teams who are all taken very seriously by the local media (much more seriously than any of them merit).

Football!  Stop playing the record!  Someone lock them out again…it was so promising…

Trop Rock – Not Prog Rock

“Do you want to go to a Trop-Rock concert tonight?”

The question was posed by my Mother in Law when leaving the beach after our first full day at their home in Gulf Shores, AL.

My spoken response – “Sure.”
My internal response – “What the hell is “Trop Rock” and did my Mother in Law really just ask me to go to a concert?”

When my family showed up at the local civic center’s back lawn forty minutes later my daughter immediately whispered in my ear, “Daddy, why is everyone so old?”

Thus began one of my most curious evenings in recent memory.  I don’t know if it’s fair to call it a concert – at least the way I remember concerts, but it certainly qualifies as one bizarre social phenomenon.  What was up with song after song

Brent Burns

about irresponsible living, drunkenness, and doing nothing all day?  I could understand the general theme at a Poison concert via 1988, but these were retired bankers and teachers.  These people looked like my parents (or thereabouts), but they called themselves “Parrot-Heads”.

At one point, Brent Burns (the featured musician – a career Trop Rocker) sang a song about monkeys and a bunch of retired, elderly women ran up front throwing stuffed monkeys to each other in rhythm with the beat.  For a moment I was terrified my mother in law would join them but she, thankfully, left her monkey at home.

At another juncture in the festivities Mr. Burns introduced himself as a loyal member of the local United Methodist Church to which a good number of the audience cheered.  He then proceeded to sing a song called (I’m not kidding) “I’m leaving ugly but early” – a song about how he would rather leave the bar early with an ugly girl instead of trying to make it with a beauty.  In other words, just take an ugly girl home tonight because it’s so much easier.  I watched as dozens of United Methodist’s members happily sang along with smiles on their botoxed faces.

Brent Burns and his sidekick talked and talked after every song.  They plugged their cd’s relentlessly, and they must have mentioned that they were “Trop Rockers” ninety-five times.  They were obviously very proud of this label.

Then it hit me.  I began to interpret the evening a bit.  This was a generational phenomenon of sorts.  The excessive number of older retirees, the silly and intoxicated behavior that seemed inappropriate for the current day and age, wallowing in thoughtless lyrics about complete irresponsibility, and most of all – the incessant pride of being categorized and labeled…musicians actually wanting people to label them.  This was a gathering of baby boomers and the out working of where that generation’s ethos has led them.

I’m not a fan or even a casual listener of Jimmy Buffett, but I hear tell that he is the king of the “Trop-Rock” and I can only imagine what his concerts are like.  But if you ever wonder where people congregate who failed to develop a social conscience throughout their years of professional and family life, you can certainly find them sitting on lawn chairs and singing “I”m Leaving Ugly But Early Tonight” at a local Trop-Rock concert.

 

Technology Lamentations

O my wireless anguish.  I grieve as two beloved establishments…nay – not establishments – Sanctuaries – have closed within the past two months.  Places that meant much to me throughout the past twenty years.  Places of congregating.  Places that hold stories and memories.  Places where I always have to go to the bathroom because my body finally relaxes from all of its crazy tensions.  Places.  Places.  I’m living in a world that’s losing its places!

I recognize the value of technology as much as the next person.  Father forgive me – I even subscribe to Netflix!  Oh the shame.  But I’ve long-held that ultimately technology’s biggest social impact is that it keeps us in our homes.  The more technology advances and becomes accessible to the general public – the less we get out of our hovels.  The less we meet our neighbors.  The less we interact and congregate.  Hands down – the friends I have who are most giddy about gadgets are the same people who always seem to detest people the most.  I’m not saying this is a rule.  I’m just saying.

Goodbye SRO Video with your creaky floors and awesome selections.  My name was under my dad’s name on your crazy database.  Ronald Bowles and Jon Bowles.  Always checking out great movies.  Thanks for being open late – a gold light shining from a welcoming window on those nights when me and JD craved Hitchcock.

Borders at 91st & Metcalf – I don’t know what life is like without you.  I walked into the hallowed room where I used to read, converse, and create.  Where I brought my children and saw fascination in their eyes.  Cafe shut down and dark.  Chairs stacked on tables.  Vultures plundering your shelves for closing sales.  They don’t know.  They don’t care.  You are violated.  I feel woe.

Convenience is killing the places I used to go.

I hope Mexican food never becomes wireless.  I can’t imagine losing Jalapenos.

We recently accomplished an important step in my son’s maturation into manhood.  We completed watching all five original Planet of the Apes movies.  I am so proud.

Here’s a brief response to those asking my thoughts about the KU/VCU game:

With only VCU and Butler standing in the way of a National Championship game, what happened Sunday was a choke-job of epic proportions…but we shouldn’t be surprised.

It’s the kind of thing that should never happen…but always happens (to Kansas).

This is a common pattern with Bill Self coached teams (only one final four in his entire career).  I would elaborate, but I already did…last year.  I refer you to what I wrote after the Kansas loss to powerhouse Northern Iowa a year ago.

I’ve been claiming that Bill Self is a poor tournament coach for years.  It seems that this year at least some people are finally agreeing with me.

What I really want to elaborate on now are my thoughts about the tournament itself.  It’s a sham way to crown a national champion.  Yes, it’s entertaining.  But as a way to determine a true national champion?  It’s a crock…a very profitable crock…but still a crock.  If there were a different (i.e. more just) system in place, the term “National Champion” would carry more meaning.  Kudos to VCU and all, but are they really a contender for the title “National Champion”?

(Of course, if KU had won Sunday I would love the tournament…)

A Perfect Match…

Colin Firth playing the title role in Bill Self’s life story?  Anyone?

10 Best of 2010

What a year for movies!  The polar opposite of last year…it almost seems like 10 Best Picture nominations are appropriate.  There was a rich option of films to choose from showing at the theater just about every weekend since October.  Even the summer had some gems…heck, I even had fun watching The Wolfman and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World last winter.    3D has gotten a little tedious, but I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed it in such films as Tron: Legacy – a perfect homage as well as sequel to one of my favorite 80′s theater experiences.  Anyway, after a fantastically fun year at the movies – here are my favorites:

Ten: Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole

Don’t laugh – this movie was beautiful – one of the best 3D visions yet onscreen.  It was also a brilliant metaphor for Christian faith…my son and I sat in the theater long afterward talking about the “truth” we saw.  It was a good conversation.

 

 

 

Nine: 127 Hours

Innovative film making.  Compelling vision of humanity.  I’ve never seen anything like it…and that means a lot to me.

 

 

 

 

 

Eight: Inception

The thing is – it’s not the visuals that make this so satisfying.  As grand as the special effects are, they’re totally upstaged by the plot.  The most spectacular thing about this summer blockbuster is the thoughtfulness…how often can you say that?

 

 

 

 

Seven: Despicable Me

Clever and heartwarming.  A great fable about finding good in everyone.  If only all animated offerings were this thoughtful.

 

 

 

 

Six: Black Swan

I was completely immersed.  This film created an eerie world in which we never know what’s real and what’s false.  In fact, I rarely understood what was happening – but it didn’t matter…at all.

 

 

 

 

Five: The Social Network

A wonderful morality tale.  The style and ethos of this movie surprisingly reminded me of the 70′s era political thrillers that I grew up watching with my father (i.e. All the President’s Men, The Conversation).

 

 

 

 

Four: The Town

Yeah – it’s pretty similar to Good Will Hunting, and I didn’t want to like it so much…I’ve never liked Ben Affleck.  But I swear, the guy can direct a move.  Good Will Hunting with guns…very cool.

 

 

 

 

Three: The Fighter

This movie was like watching young Scorsese.  I felt like I was eavesdropping on a culture and family that I normally would never get to meet and experience.  Russell successfully captures the time, place, and culture of his subjects like no one has since the young and relevant director of Mean Streets.

 

 

 

 

Two: The King’s Speech

There simply aren’t enough like this.  A movie about good people making hard decisions in difficult times.  This film is not just about the King’s speech problems.  It’s about being human.

 

 

 

 

 

One: The Ghostwriter

Just in case there was any doubt that Roman Polanski is one of our best directors ever.  A taught and paranoid political thriller…the kind we simply don’t see anymore.

This one is special.

“It is not always easy to support the stares of hungry people.”